From Bianca's Blog
biancabeauchampallaccess.com

Viewing this clip, I immediately notice the interview begins by trying to alienate Bianca as much as possible from what is perceived as 'normal'. The woman opening the show makes it clear to her audience that her guest is "other", of a different class of people they cannot relate to.

"We've decided to unveil a mysterious world, at least probably mysterious to most of you and certainly mysterious to us: it's called fetish." she says. [Her poor husband, his bedroom must be terribly vanilla.]

On their own, these are fairly harmless words, but the condescending expression suggests the "Lionesses' Den" is an appropriate title for the show, a display for conservative feminists. Alas, from the very start I know Bianca is going to be lightly grilled. I was pleased to find that though cautious about the topic, the panel was sincerely intrigued, reasonable and polite. They admit to having prejudices.

Though Bianca seems frustrated by the affair, I think it was an excellent dialog between two types of feminists, whose difficulty communicating is born of contrasting personality types. Really, the discussion of sexuality comes down to matters of personal comfort and boundaries - we all enter this world with some traits, and develop our own ideas and limitations as life progresses. Both nature and nurtue mold who we are. As consenting adults everyone must be allowed to express and live out their sexual lives according to their choosing.

It is interesting to learn that Bianca was in university pursuing a career as a high school teacher, while fetish modeling to pay for fees. A surprisingly common theme in the adult industry. Not to suggest these students are desperate, but some individuals have a natural affinity towards playfulness and sexuality. Instead of the long hours in mainstream careers they follow an alternative path.

Some find they truly enjoy their experiences in adult entertainment: Like Bianca. When forced by the university to choose between an education and her modeling career, she chose fetish modeling. I find it devastating that her university would force a long term lifestyle out of what was initially about youthful adventure and fun. She was an adult participating in perfectly legal behavior, and the school had no grounds (rooted in reality) to demand she choose. By marginalizing adult entertainers and refusing to let them participate in non-sexual sects of life, their lives become more sexualized by default. Adult communities become the only ones in society who will allow them entry. By refusing to be bullied, she had to look at her lifestyle as a major career choice, and begin to do the research and make the decisions that would provide long term security.

I cannot speak for Bianca, however when life has placed me in her shoes, I have mirrored her response. As a centered individual who is proud of my lifestyle, I will not be frightened or bullied away from that which I adore. I will stand for my belief in true freedom, and I will fight to preserve it. I would have mirrored Bianca's decision and chosen the modeling career over the puritanical bullying of the educational institution. Fortunately, as a graphic designer, no one really cares.

Some would argue that she made the easier choice, when in truth, she made the harder one. To willingly accept a marginalized lifestyle comes with weight. It is an isolating existence in a world where many consider adult entertainers deviant. They are often insulted, harassed, and assaulted. This behavior is a result of prejudice born of people who feel threatened in the face of a world they do not understand or simply cannot relate to. It means making a career out of the unstable world of entertainment - whether it be adult or Hollywood. It is accepting that no one will be there to catch you, and the road forth must be forge out of your own energies and dedication.

This panel of prim women found it difficult to swallow an intelligent young woman would choose adult modeling over the stability of education. However, Bianca respectfully admits that teaching was the wrong career path for her, and the forced decision worked in her favor.

"How can we change the world with fetish?" they ask.

A question that goes sadly unanswered in this interview, instead Bianca went on to clarify the adult community's understanding of the lexicon. The fetish world, and every niche within adult, has a chance to help educate and allow people to shed the chains of shame. Consenting adults are able to make educated decisions and explore the eccentricities of human sexuality on their terms - they should not be judged for doing so. Allow adults to feel shameless about their bodies, relationships and desires. Allow them to form communities to educate and support each other in wise choices, and shared experience. Wash away the prejudices, and see how much tension, stress and personal turmoil disappears from the world. Live and let live.

"If someone in the couple watches porn or erotica alone, are they unfaithful?" they ask.

This really is a surprisingly common discussion amongst what I consider the 'vanilla' crowd. To call it unfaithful, suggests that this action is being done in secrecy, to the ignorance of one partner. Often wives know their husbands view porn, and though they may not participate, they do not prevent their partner from enjoying so. Many couples commonly share pornographic content to bring inspiration and simply enjoy the nature of sexuality together.

In a situation where the wife feels pornography is cheating, and tells her husband this, things need to be reconsidered. In an ideal world, the two should stay completely honest with one another. She should be willing to deal with her emotional issues and let him do something he finds sexually fulfilling. However, an ideal world doesn't take reality into consideration. I believe every individual has the right to a private sex life that is based on fantasy, and includes no one else. The greater crime is being committed by the hypothetical wife who feels betrayed by her husband watching porn. A partner does not have the right to take away the joy of fantasy and self pleasure. Her insecure controlling behavior trumps his dishonesty.

Often long term relationships are brought into distress when one partner isn't interested in something the other strongly desires. One cannot rightly deprive a person of strong desires without expecting these to be expressed elsewhere. I would in fact say, one does not have the right to deprive someone of being truly sexually satisfied. In situations where partners cannot meet each other's needs, they should be willing to compromise.

"Are you aware of your influcence on young girls?" they ask.

To those who do not participate in adult culture, this a serious matter that needs to be contended with. In truth, our effect on youth is a topic sexual communities should honestly consider if they are to be socially responsible.

Bianca Beauchamp does not add to the hyper-sexualization of young girls. Jessica Simpson does. Bianca may participate in hyper-sexualized modeling, but her content is carefully censored. The magazines she appears on are not readily available for purchase to those under legal age. In a household that installs parental controls her video's and website would be inaccessible to underage children. It's Paris Hilton flashing her thong on the front pages of gossip rags and fashion magazines deciding to compete with Playboy, all available in grocery store near you, that hyper-sexualize young women. It's headlines that read "69 Ways to Please Your Man in the Bedroom" and "Loose 10 Pounds in 4 Days on the 'Don't Eat Anything that Casts a Shadow' Diet", that lead young women astray. I am consistently more revolted by what I see on the cover of women's fashion and celebrity gossip magazines than I am by mainstream pornography.

At the same time, we must acknowledge that young teenage girls are sexual and they always have been. As soon as they have started menstruating, nature has decided a young woman is ready to have children. This is not to suggest we should be slaves to our biological destiny. Yet, when the hand of nature, the very hand of God, says a female is ready for sexuality, it's a loosing battle to try and suppress her blossoming. It is interesting to note males do not receive the same focus on suppressing their sexuality.

Parent's should not be seeking to isolate their budding teens from the sexual universe, but properly educate them as their curiosity naturally unfolds. Eventually, everyone's going to have to face the sexual world, and they need a real knowledge of what that world is like. Their natural curiosities will take them on a sexual journey and they need context in order to make the right choices and lead sexually fulfilling lives as adults.

I am thankful for the brave women who are empowered and delighted by their choices. I am pleased to see more and more are willing to step forward and enter into public dialogue. It's this kind of ongoing communication that will eventuall end the world of whore-stigma.